above all.

i still remember the time when i got lost (suddenly) and was very afraid. it was day time but idk why i was just terrified. I have never been lost and i have never felt so worse than that. I went to flag for taxi though I have not a cent in my wallet. No taxi stopped for me, i don’t know why. maybe i was a student, maybe it was something else.

that time, i was not as close as I am now with Father. I was just merely someone who take christianity as a religion. Right then, idk anything. Then, suddenly, after rejected by so many taxi, a taxi stopped and i got in. To my surprise, the driver is a christian! and the song titled on above all was the first christian song i have ever heard that really touch my heart!

he then told me things about how God touches His heart and it’s more like a testimony actually. He told me how he used to be a buddhist and how his whole family converted because the glory of God was shown. Through out the journey, i could feel holyspirit all around me. i have never felt something like that. now, as i recalled back, i realised how Father has touched my life so much and tried to get me to know Him all along through without forcing His way. I am so touched..

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There’s no way to measure what You’re worth

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Above all powers above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Above all kingdoms above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There’s no way to measure what You’re worth

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

http://prettyrose26.imeem.com/music/yp8CpsGS/integrity_music_above_all/

this song i always gonna remember. the song that make me something i am right now. (: well, all is good with His plan.

pieces of everything.

this was supposed to be like yesterday : 30 Oct 2007

so we went to like meet at bedok for brekkie and i got myself a delicious waffle with blueberry on it. (i am still craving for another though i have eaten another one at gelare.. idk why.) then we went to joyce’s aunt’s house to help out for the fashion design thing next week but i think i didn’t do much help but give more than enough trouble. Anyhow, we took lots of pictures with wp nicey 7.1mp camera and i totally like the effect it has like oh my!!

i totally adore this pic so no matter how blur it is i am gonna post it out.

i think the sunglass is cool yo! && i think im cool.

joyce is looking else where but hello, this is such a totally funny picture.

i made cheryl take this for me because the horse is really cute and it’s been long i did not play at playground. so cool yo!

then after that we met siqi after months not meeting her and wow, she changed and i think she looks better this year we crapped like hell and we did lots of retarded, silly photo but i just gonna post one because wping has posted lots of them here.

we were trying to immitate buddha or something.. oh well.

yesterday was the funniest thing ever because just to go to kallang kfc and tried out the refillable drink, we gotten ourselves into big big adventure with siqi leading the race. idk how we did it but it was totally hilarous. we ran here and there for bus and we kept walking to the what seems a stone’s throw away stadium.

on the way home, cheryl and me walked a different opposite way with kj, wp and siqi when suddenly, when we were about to cross the bridge, siqi or wp started shouting our names.

=.= to our dismay, we saw those three small people (small cos we were kinda above them and they were futher apart.) waving at us like mad. i was lol-ing all the way home..

i can’t stop laughing right now too. i mean like it’s totally funny to see this pic. HAHA!

end this with a retarded photo of myself (-.-)

oh crappy.

i feel im gonna be totally shut out from the internet world very very soon. guess what, i formatted my whole lappie already (took me the whole night and day.) and right now, the msn cant work, claiming that there is an error and immediately close down. i tried to re-install, repair and all but it’s not working. it’s still the same old problem. I wonder whats wrong.

just hope i can do something about it. or else, i cant go msn and i just can blog everyday.

@.@

dumped in the bin.

my laptop gotten virus and i got to do some reformating. which means i got to re-install EVERYTHING i have installed like adobe cs3, the microsoft office and all.

windows live messenger is not even working.

i am going bonkus like totally. It’s going to take up lots of my time and i can’t be here all the time. I have such a busy day. Tomorrow badminton? Maybe, i am not going if the formatting thing isn’t ready. And I needa control the amount of money i spent each day or a month probably. I think the nets are gonna go bad sooner or later and i really need to start eating at HOME, not ie outside all the time! this week I am going to try to really save lots of money. And so, idk if sentosa trip i will be going. *shrugs*

by the way, i am still thinking about the job at kejin’s aunt. I don’t even know if I am working because *sigh* they didn’t call me and just leave me thinking between the line. what the…

so this is what you mean by desparados wanting a job :’(

if feelings aren’t meant to be.

I think tomorrow will be a teary session and gonna be worse than the dying korean actress we watched in those dramas.  I started to realise how class-bonding shall be appreciated last time and should not be thought as a wasting of time to interact with people you don’t want to know.

sigh*

i wonder we can be like this again one more time.

then another big blow is the separation of cellgroups. Too many people already and so we are going to be divided into three cellgroups with three leaders and I certainly will miss all of them. Like imagine, you are not going (maynot) be with everyone you saw every Friday again.

all the peace, smiley face.

but i know this is gonna be God’s plans. I got to go on with this eh? Should not be so disheartened actually, but hey. what can I do. Here I am midnight & pondering about tomorrow. Worksheets are all around the floor and room is in a mess, totally. To think, momsie trusted me for being independent and stuffs.  To think,  I will be staying alone soon and to think my room is still in a mess. I am such a let down to everyone. Talented? Handpicked? I am really laughing my ass out over that comment given. I just think it’s a mere coincidence. Hello, me with a ultimate lazy character wont get chosen. (i think). Sigh. I am just feeling like I am a real loser to everyone. To think momsie trusted me and love me so much. Imagine luh today she said I should control on my shopping because I have lots of bags already. To think she didn’t scold me for the stupid bras which are tight-fitting that I bought. (two somemore.) To think again, I have disappointed many people in all kind of things.

I need to show them I can. I mean, to show them I wont be really a sore loser and to make them less disappointed with me.

emo me.

& alvin is happily playing his harvest moon.

Me trying to disturb him and he shoving away. Thank God for everything. My brothers, family and my friends. Sigh. I just dont want to get different class with you guys but if it is His plan then I will go with the flow. Still, bestfriends forever yea?

it seems like a primary six last day thing again. I remembered suddenly, how I burst out crying to ven and gaius. How we thought of this and that and then nothing seems the same. How we talked to each other when I was alr in indo and we thought long distance wont matter… how .. how .. it’s just not the same anymore right now but i believe right now, it’s gonna have slight changes. (:

talk about faith,

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.

Voltaire

the different and the thing that make christianity stand out among the rest are probably the kind of faith they relied on everytime. It feels different, unexplainable and God knows indescribable.

Yes, faith is what i have been counting on everytime.

faith to study well,
faith to get well,
faith to make it on
& faith to stay through.

in my life, i think all the depressing moment was controable because of faith and not some counselors. Actually, idk why i dont like ccounselors anyway. After all, they contribute to the society depression and helped to overcome the people with problems or lack of love. BUT, i still don’t think they always help in every kind of situation.

Like, they say they keep it a secret but finally, it won’t be a secret anymore when they heard it and put it in their mind they want to voice it to parents, friends etc. And then, they will be like saying that it will be for your own good and they are doing this for your future benefits. I know but hey, you promised and you did other things.

or probably, they didn’t promise but they kept asking you questions. Umpteen times and countless! you kept quiet and they said, “never mind” but they kept you in the room and tried to make you talk about the subject. it’s their job but i just don’t like it. (i alr say i dont know why. -.-)

thats why i dont trust counselors. I maybe stubborn but i feel i can trust my God better.

maybe thats why faith become an important part of me and maybe this is why God is guidance and never a counselor. He never did tell our secrets out or even tried to say it is the best way out. He heard our cries no matter if it’s wrong, good or even very bad things we are crying about. He just touched us and make us feel loved. Then, i came running towards Him willingly and was embraced without being forced to actually do that.

That make me not trust counselors. They counsel and counsel but look at it another way, a mere human being feel tired in all kind of way. they are still a human still, anyway. but my GOD is big and not a human. Humans are still humans. No matter what happened, humans are never perfect being. we cried, we bitched, we good and we gets tired.

yes, it’s all about faith.

mamamia.

momsie finally relented and i got the job at kejin’s aunt bread shop. i am happy, excited, nervous, happy, contented and all but a thing kept comin to me and make me terrified like the fact that somebody idk who chosen me with my two other genius friends like kejin and stac for the upcoming events like going for lky talk and idk whats that really gonna make me. i think it is gonna make me like have more leadership that what i am right now but the ONLY thing i don’t like is the fact i gotta stay up right now at 9.30 PM to watch channel five news since i gonna have interviews on tues and they say they will ask questions like how spore is changing or the events that just happened. i needa someone to do all this for me bcos’ my general knowledge shucks.

the fact is; i could have just lay me down to sleep right now. =X

anyway, it has to be God’s plan that this happened because all along i never join any kind of leadership activities. Right now, im gonna face people i dont wanna mix with and people i dont know i can get along with (etc, etc, etc) and i dont wanna choose triple becos i aint sure about my position there and i gonna go for physics because thats better than bio. combi F is also kinda good because i got two subjects combined and one pure. idk. im really gettin a big headache choosin all the subject combi. goodness me.

&& thankyou so much for you guys who waited for me till the briefing end because i thought you guys went home but the fact is nahh you guys waited for me and i am really touched because it just drained away all my disappointment and sorrows (?!) and my idiotic confusions! you guys truly make my day and i thank God for you all mann.

thankyouu! & becos i aint feelin like takin pictures lately, i got no pics with me..

thank God so much for giving me all my friends right now and i really love you guys okayyy! <3<3
i did the soc blogskin again and right now gonna start with joycelyn then wanpinnng. should i just go for blogskin too??? hahaa, i dont think im THAT pro anywayy..

i am lovin each day of my life right nooww because He show me whats life all about! *smile smile*

i thought about being different.

i am back to what i faced six months ago.

1. loud, uncontroable channel eight show.
2. naggy, loud, noisy grandma.
3. messy living room.

i think i am going to go bonkus if this isn’t end of exams. Yea, i am supposed to enjoy myself for the whole sec two holidays before i go and prepare for O lvl which seem like a blink of an eye. I mean, this is really going so fast and i have yet actually enjoying myself. I am too tired, I need a job but I am barely ready for it.

Then another, I need to really lose at least five kg to make myself feel happy. and yea, i hate fats and i (finally) want to control what I am eating, what is balanced diet and stuffs. I think i go for pure science because I don’t think i like triple. Then I think I need to sleep because I am already feeling tired right now like aww.

& i needa be real patient with everything that is happening. I gotta pray a lot nowadays because I need to be controlled and to be less impatient. Oh please help me Lord!

xoxo.

i am tagged!

1) The person who tagged you was: Leewanping

2) Your relantionship with him/her: best girlfriend.

3) Your 5 impressions of him/her: idiot. funny, joker, hilarious, good listener, very goodfriend(:

4) Most memorable thing he/she has done for you?: making me laugh, listening to me, telling me what to do…

5. Most memorable words she has said to you?: “hhahaahahah! i wannnt.”

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?: nah. not interested of being lesbian. =X

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?: be more lady-like.HAHA

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?: nah. i dont thnk so we will!

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?: irritated by each other or misunderstanding.

10. The thing you desire to do most for him/her would be?: go her house and help her swim in the pool. HAHA

11. Overall impression of him/her?: clever, nice girl, pleasant, funny, uzap.

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?: idiot, childish, crappy.

13. A character trait you love about yourself?: lovingJesus!

14. A character trait you hate about yourself?: being fatty asshole and being stupid.

15. Person you want to be?: nah.

16. Say something to the people who care for you!: thanks(?)

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people to know what they feel about you. In no particular order…

1) wanping.
2) joycelyn
3) shimin.
4) kejin.
5) olivia
6) cheryl.
7) anie
emak
9) anita
10) maggie

Who is #6 having a relationship with?:[cheryl]
nobody. if it’s better be me. HAHA.

Is #9 a male or female?: (anita)
female(:

If #7 and #10 are together, will it be a good thing?: (anie and maggie)
hahaaha. lesbians on the go?

How about #8 and #5?: (oli and emak)
NAH! dont even know each other.

What is #2 studying about?: (joycelyn)
idk. probably studying the class thingy..subjct combination and all.

When was the last you talked to #3?: (shimin)
yesterday

What kind of music does #8 like?: (emak)
holysongs probably.

Does #1 have any siblings?: (wp)
yeaa

Will you woo #3?: (shimin)
nah. LOL

How about #7?: (anie)
noo freakin way. girls dont go with girls!

Is #4 single?: (kejin)
YEA. and available!

What’s #5’s surname?: (oli)
TAY.

How about #10’s?: (maggie)
tiok if imnot wrong.!

#4’s hobby?: (kejin)
chatting on the phone, watch her dramas, go around me and hug me, talking…

Do #5 and #9 get along?: (oli and anita)
lol dk each other.

Where does #2 study at?: (joycelyn)
same like me!

Say something casual about #1?: (wp)
hey, yo wassup! HAHA.

Have you tried developing feelings about #8?: (emak)
already developed! haahhaa.

Where does #9 live?: (anita)
clementi

Are #5 and 1# best friends?: (oli , wp)
not really.

Does #7 like #2? (joycelyn , anie)
nooo. LOL

How do you get to know #2?: (joycelyn)
sec one the time kept talkin with her.. LOL

Does #1 have any pets?: (wp)
nah. LOL.

Is #7 the sexiest person in the world?: (anie)
-.-

When the Hero comes alive

Cell today was awesome, totally.

My heart was really changed, charged and renewed once more. I feel blessed in the presence of Lord. It feels neverending even though I have been like ‘bad’ for the past few days. You heard me. Yea, real ‘bad’. I said those f-ing, s-ing or whatever words I should not even have said. Now, I came to a realization that the problems lie in me not others. I have been so sensitive to my own feelings not others and that makes me so self-concious, hard to approach, indecisive in making decisions and easily anger.

I feel I want to grow up. You know, grow up and be more sensitive to whom souls, minds, people I am stepping on and to people I am telling off at. You know, I wanna be sensitive to others and not just me. Mostly, go into people’s dreams. Not just mine. This is not going to be easy but I am just going to follow the rhythm of His steps and make the best out of my everything.

The time to choose subjects are finally up and it’s something I have been dreading of. Yea, results dropped tremendously I supposed but that did not make me stupider or something in His eyes. Actually, I kinda regret for not putting my best into the exam periods. (eg. talking on the phone with jin, wp, cher etc.. sleeping more than studying..) However, I am glad for what I get. Right now, I am in deep trouble of making the right decision – To take the risk and put triple science or just go with the flow and take my two pure sciences?

PS: I have found an orphanage in Jurong Central. I know it’s far but helping others can go futher than this! Please tell me if you will like to join me! (: